What defines a person, a life, a being? What creates their muse and enflames their passion? Who or what inspires their path? And under whose or what authority does the average person render their indictment upon humanity in part or in whole? For most of a person’s existence is blossomed through events we can all relate to: childhood, friendships, education, career, dating, marriage, the birth of a child, common illnesses, the death of an elderly family member, etc. For others there are events that few can personally relate to, but we can still imagine what that person must be going through, such as being the victim of a heinous crime, a false conviction, the premature death of a child, a near-death experience, etc. Then there are events that exist beyond the imagination and comprehension. To speak of them out loud makes one the subject of gossip and slander, the brunt of jokes, and the questioning of sanity. One such event happened to me. It tapped into a seed that was placed into my interbeing a decade prior and it nurtured my suppressed Tao to sprout, grow, and finally blossom.
The event that took place on Tuesday following Palm Sunday in 2007 was precipitated by my opening prayer to my nightly devotion with that follows, “Lord, you stated that if I ask for anything in Your name, it would be revealed to me.[1] Lord, I am a Jew. You see the suffering of my people. Your people! Yet You swore we would be a people like the stars of the sky and the sand on the seashore, from the Nile to the Euphrates. I look for a land of plenty, a promised land of abundance where it was said it took two men to carry one cluster of grapes, but all I see is a dry and cracked desert land. Why must your people suffer so? Please, explain this to me. I don’t understand.”
This was not an unusual prayer. I was a man in search of answers, “Where is the land of milk and honey I read about in the Bible? Where are the peace and abundance that were foretold upon the return of Israel in Isaiah?” For many years, it seemed as if I was calling out to the wind, for the Lord did not answer me. Now, truth be told, we accept that the Lord spoke to the prophets in the Bible without question, but today if people say that the Lord talked to them, we would consider them suffering from schizophrenia or some other mental illness. Yet during the ministry of Isaiah, who was commanded by the Lord to walk around naked to proclaim to the people that they were naked and wretched[2], or Ezekiel, who was instructed to cook his meals over human excrement,[3] I would imagine that the Jews of their day thought that these men were mentally unsound or perhaps worse. So, as I tell you the following events in my life, I completely expect your opinion of me to diminish. Yet to conceal this portion of my spiritual pilgrimage would be something less than honest, as well as in some way a denial of the hand of God within my life.
After praying each night before I go to sleep, I turn on a small light next to my bed, open my Bible to a random page, and start reading at a random spot. Not so much out of divine expectation, but rather exhaustion. Sometimes I was so tired I would have no recollection of the things I read the following morning. That night I was reading from Genesis seventeen, starting in verse five. For those who are unfamiliar with that section, Abraham’s name was changed from Abram to Abraham, meaning “many nations.” In verse twenty, Abraham was upset with the Lord and pleaded, “Please bless Ishmael, too,” but God said no, inferring that the many nations promised between the Nile and the Euphrates belonged to Isaac alone— nations such as Egypt, Lebanon, Jordan, Iraq, Yemen, Saudi Arabia, and so on.[4] The Lord replied to Abraham, “I have heard you, and of Ishmael, I will make a great nation, but the blessing remains with Isaac.” It was at this point that the Lord bent down and whispered in my ear. In effect, my conscience, through analytical reasoning, was wrestling with the stubborn prejudices of my heart. An audible voice, no, but it was clear, without a doubt. In this voice, He asked me, “Who does the many nations promise apply to?”
I answered, “Isaac.”
He asked, “How many nations will Ishmael be?”
I answered, “One.”
“Then how come you credit Ishmael as many nations and believe Isaac to be only one nation?”
I argued, “Lord, these people are not Jews.” I felt the Lord leading me to open my Bible again to another random place and verse. The verse I turned to next was 1 Chronicles 5:2, “Though Judah was the strongest of his brothers and a ruler came from him, the rights of the firstborn belonged to Joseph.” (NIV) The still small voice whispered, “Why would you expect the many nations’ promise to come from Judah (the Jews) when the birthright belonged to Joseph?“
“Lord,” I inquired, “Are not these people Ishmaelites?”
The Lord replied in regard to the identity of Ishmael, “Why not India? Isn’t it also a people too numerous to count?”
I retorted, “No, Lord!”
“Why?” the Lord interrupted. “Because you like them?”
My heart was grieved, and there was a moment of silence before I replied, “But what everyone else says is different!”
Again, I felt the Lord leading me to open my Bible to a random place, and the verse I turned to was Jeremiah 14:14, “The Lord responded to me, ‘The prophets are prophesying lies in My name. I have not sent them or appointed them or spoken to them. They are prophesying to you false visions, divinations, idolatries, and the delusions of their own minds.’” (NIV)
This left me confounded and perplexed. I considered the centuries upon which modern Christianity exists and defines itself. How could it be that the millions, perhaps billions, that have dedicated their lives to studying the Bible could have missed something so profound? And I considered how entrenched as a people we were in our faith and just how difficult it would be at this point to accept anything new of such magnitude. At this point, He bent down and whispered in my ear, “Abraham believed in Me, and he was made righteous, but you do not believe. The Arabs are the many nations of my people Israel. They are like the stars of the sky now and exactly where I swore they would be, just as I promised Abraham, and you hate them! You have been found guilty of murder before me!”
“Murder? I have never raised my hand against anyone!”
“You think your heart is concealed from me? The prayers of those who call upon my name for evil against their brother are continually before me.” The verse came to mind, “These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.” At that moment he showed me myself through His eyes. Grief took hold of me, and I began to weep uncontrollably.
Again, I opened to a random verse, this time to Matthew 10:27, “What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs.” (NIV)
I recalled all the years I had tried to bring change at GE. I’m the guy that no one listens to. So the mere fact that he would call on me to proclaim his message was meant with the response of shock and disbelief, “Me? They will not listen to me.”
Again, I felt the Lord leading me, and I opened my Bible, this time to Exodus 4:10–12, and He whispered in my ear, “Who made your tongue?”
I replied, “What if they don’t believe you spoke to me?”
And again, I opened my Bible, Exodus 4:1-3 Moses answered, “What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, ‘The LORD did not appear to you?” Then the LORD said to him, “What is that in your hand?” “A staff,” he replied. The LORD said, “Throw it on the ground.” Moses threw it on the ground, and it became a snake, and he ran from it.” I didn’t have a staff, but I remembered the second sign, so I put my hand under my shirt to see if it would become infected with leprosy. I was trembling, I held my breath and pulled out my hand. No change!
The LORD responded, “Here you are alone in your room risking nothing, can you do this when you have something to lose?”
I replied, “I can’t do this alone.”
Then I closed the Bible and re-opened it to another random verse, Exodus 3:12 And God said, “I will be with you.”
I asserted, “Lord, you need someone like Billy Graham for this job.” The Lord responded, “You seek the reputation of men as the world seeks it so that people should believe based on his word and his reputation. I am sending you and the cast aside of this world, to see if they will believe based on My Word and My reputation!” The Lord whispered in my ear, “Michael, I don’t want them to see you. I want them to see Me!”
“Lord,” I replied, “I have no degree or formal training in the Bible.” Again, I felt Him leading me, and I opened my Bible, however, because the last three verses had randomly gone to Exodus, I intentionally opened my Bible to the other end —this time to Acts 4:13, “When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished, and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.” (NIV) Even still an exact answer to my question.
I asserted, “Surely, these pastors have scriptures to back up what they are saying. I am going to go to them, and they are going to cite some verse and prove me wrong.”
At this point, the voice that had been calm, almost passive, became loud and passionate, “Who do you think wrote that book!? Will you test Me? Okay, then, test Me! Go to these men you have put your faith in, more than you have put your faith in Me!”
And then silence. The voice in my head would not speak. It was the first time for me and to date, despite earnest supplication I have never had another experience like it.
[1] Matthew 7:7–11; John 14:12–14.
[2] Isaiah 20:1-4.
[3] Ezekiel 4:12.
[4] Also see Deuteronomy 1:6–8.